Waiting Time

Whew! God has had me in a waiting time--so much so that my heart aches and I am weary. I look around me and realize that I have been attacked in the places that I felt secure. I have been battled on my home soil. I have been destitute, tried, and convicted.........

And now my weary eyes look up and I see---see Him ready to reach down and guide my feet back to the path that I left--the path of my writing.

You see, I had taken a path of giving up my writing, publicizing, etc. for a few weeks now. When I made the decision to do it, I honestly felt the life breath leave my body. I felt the darkness and the pain of denying myself leak out onto my face in the form of crystal tears. Looking back, I know that I had to do it for God to show me WHO I am, WHO He needs me to be. But, at that moment the pain was great as I told Him that I would give it up.

During my hiatus from writing, no chores were done any quicker than they had been when part of my time was spent writing. No more quality time was spent with my family that it had been when I was writing. But, I can assure you that what was left of me was much smaller when I wasn't writing, than when I was. I was dry and brittle--quick to snap.... I wasn't nurturing MY soul, wasn't feeding it the fruits from harvesting the desires of my heart. Instead I was stagnant, hurt, unsure of where to turn. Unsure of my own identity.

Now, I am stronger, more sure that I must stay on this journey, working diligently through the desires of my heart..... For they are the desires placed there by the Father of Lights--to deny them is to deny His creation.

And so you, too, must find your desires and not give up. Remembering always that we cannot measure our success by the world, but by what we know our workings do for us and for Him.

I would rather share this journey with Him, than trod a path of denying my heart's desires.

And I will.