A Friend Who Sticks Closer Than A Brother

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. 

I admit I used to shudder a little when I would hear that age-old adage.  It scared me and I thought if I didn't hear it, it couldn't happen.  I wanted to close my eyes and ears to losing.  Because in my mind, losing meant never regaining.  But, in God's eyes, losing is always about sacrifice.  And sacrifice always brings restoration in greater things.

The phrase, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" has its roots in a book of our Holy Bible that is all about losing everything--the book of Job.

In Job 1:21, Job says, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there.  The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Job makes this statement after he had lost his worldly possessions and his children.  He had been rich one day and destitute the next.  Yet, Job accepted his possessions for what they were--God's--even his children.  Job realized God's authority in his life.  All he had he knew came from God and he readily accepted God's plan for his life.

I've never lost everything, but I have seen my plans changed, moved, and taken away.

This is part of my story.

God put me in a place I enjoyed. It was a job. It was mentally challenging.  It was an important job and I felt like it was a job that mattered.  From the beginning, I felt this nagging that I wanted to do even more in this position.  I shared this with a friend early on, who advised, "You know what will happen if you tell them that.  They'll have you doing everything!"  I couldn't understand why she sounded so negative about it, I liked the idea of doing everything.  I wanted to understand all the ins and outs--the nuances of this business.  I wanted to understand the hard things and easy things.  I wanted to expand this job into a ministry that made a difference for people.

At first, that didn't happen.  I was trapped in small things, but in time as my friend predicted I was doing a lot more things.  I loved it.  I loved learning.  I even found ways to bring my faith into my job.  In a place where God was forbidden, I was able to start ministries that I thought mattered in some small way.  They were not overtly religious, but I felt like they could improve lives and I prayed that the people they touched would feel the hand of God in their lives through those ministries.

The jealousies reared up and planted bitter seeds in the hearts of others.  Those close to me and those not so close.

It's too much, you'll blow one day.  You can't have someone doing so much, you can't do it all.  Why is she doing that?  What business is that of hers?  It's too much.  Who is she?  Who does she think she is?

All this verbiage was whirling around me when the devil was allowed to enter my world.  People I had helped, turned against me.  Their wicked lies tickled ears as they sought to destroy.  Lies, deceit, back-stabbing, and ostracization became the name of the game.

For me, it was shocking.  I was not sitting on the sidelines watching the devil work.  I wasn't reading a book about the devil working.  I was in the middle of this modern-day story and watching first hand as the devil pulled the strings, whispered the commands and real people with flesh and blood followed those commands.

There were moments when I felt very alone...very alone.  I could see the spiritual warfare, but wondered if anyone else had their eyes open to it.  Slowly other eyes were opened, but all those who saw it could do was be baffled by it and talk about it.  No one could stop it.  I became only one target, while my friends became other targets.  I noted the targets were fellow believers.  

There were many different reactions to the devil's schemes.  Some joined the bandwagon wholeheartedly.  Most thinking if the devil won, they'd be on the winning side.  (Shocking, I know, but you shouldn't be shocked---it's a common reaction.)  Others tried to make themselves small and stay out of the way, hoping to save their own skin by fading away.  Others prayed.  Others talked.  Others planned ways to help everyone escape.

I kept my mouth closed and tried not to sway people to take sides.   It didn't feel like the right thing to do.  After all, that was the enemy's tactic.  I prayed that people would see on their own.

Finally, one day one person came to me and said, "I see what's happening.  At first, I didn't.  But, I see how they are forming up against you.  It's not right.  I want you to know that I can't be a part of it."

It was a moment that was a gift from God for me.  I needed those words and I needed to know that someone else saw and understood the evil around us.  And it gave new meaning to the verse, "A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24)."

This is a series...my story...something that isn't easy to share with all the "I's" in it, but something I feel led to share.  This has been sitting in my blog for weeks....unposted.  Weeks ago, a friend gave me a poem she wrote, her poem spoke to me about choosing to be God's hands and feet.  The poem has laid on my bathroom counter for weeks, a reminder of what God has asked me to do....the untold story.

For weeks, The Lord has pointed me to the books in the Bible on rebuilding the wall and the temple.  In many ways, I see the parallels.  Those set on building, those set on destroying.

This morning, I was led to this verse,

He sent from on high, He took me;
He drew me out of the many waters.
He delivered me from my strong enemy,
And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me.

Psalm 18:16-19

Praise God!  This hard time was so hard.  Escape seemed impossible.  I yearned daily for the moment when the trial would be over.  I cried out.  I pray I can relate this story for good.

I do not know who this is for, who may be experiencing a similar situation or who may soon enter a trial like this, but for you ONE person, He leads me to write.

Stay tuned as I walk you through my journey.

The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness;
According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.
For I have kept the ways of the Lord,
And have not wickedly departed from my God.
For all His ordinances were before me,
And I did not put away His statutes from me.
I was also blameless with Him,
And I kept myself from iniquity.
Therefore the Lord has recompensed me according to my righteousness.
According to the cleanness of my hands in His eyes.  Psalm 18:20-24

Happy God Loves You Day

God is so good!  Do you doubt that?  God loves you!  Do you know that?  God works through the prayers of His people.  Do you believe that?  It's not just about you....Screech!  Did I lose you?

Hang on, because this is what God is teaching me this week and I am SO blessed to be learning at my Father's knee.

A few months ago, a stranger called me.  Well, she was practically a stranger to me.  We had probably spoken for a total of 30 minutes in our lifetimes.  We definitely knew of each other, but I had no idea about her family, her day, her life.

This woman had posted about a job opportunity and someone messaged the post to me from Facebook.

Since I was looking, I sent a message to her.

She responded and I felt like she really worked on my behalf to put a good word in for me.  She was so complimentary about me, even though we were really strangers.  Her words of encouragement comforted me.  As I stood on a sidewalk, my cellphone pressed to my ear and heard her words of encouragement about how good I would be for the job, I felt blessed, like the Lord had gone before me.

I didn't get the job.  Closed door.  I moved on, but still felt her words on my heart and knew that God had something bigger planned for that 'meeting'.

Fast forward to last night.  I stood at my kitchen window washing supper dishes.  The Lord brought this woman to my mind.  I was impressed to pray for her.  My Spirit was heavy for her.  I had no idea what to pray, but I prayed for her because I knew the Lord was asking me to.  Then, the Lord brought that job to my mind.  I prayed for that company.  I had no idea why.

Why am I praying for both of them? Has something happened? I wondered, but I obeyed and prayed anyway.  I felt the Spirit moving in my heart and I gave it to God.  There was a need.

The Lord prompted me to message this woman and tell her that I had prayed for her.

Because I am human, I forgot to do it last night, but when I got up this morning, the Lord reminded me again.

I promptly messaged her to let her know that the Lord was thinking about her.

...

Pause for Praise.

...

It turns out that this woman needed that prayer.  She was dealing with an issue with the work she and I had talked about all those months ago.  She was stressed.

It's not about me.  That's the Word that I heard.

All those months ago, the Lord knew that she would be here.  He knew that I would pray for her.  He knew that His daughter, this 'stranger' to me in the world would need to know that He--her Father--loved her.  She would need to hear that He saw her.

God is so good.  He loves you so much!  And, no, our life isn't just about us.  We are not the center of the universe and I am so grateful.  Instead, each day I want to be reminded that I am a servant of the King and that He is the center of the universe and I want to serve Him and trust Him and never forget that He loves me, but oh how He loves you, too!

This woman is on my prayer list.  Believer, won't you put her on yours, too?

I Was Miserable

It's interesting how in our lives we have good and bad things all happening at the same time.  For instance, your relationship with your spouse may be kicking, but the people at your job are draining you.  Your finances may be steady, but your health is declining.  Your relationship with the Lord is strong, but your church is closing the doors.

I know I experience this very same thing--the blessings and growings of this life.

For years, the Lord was preparing me to homeschool my children.  I always knew in my heart that it was where I was headed, but I could not see how I would get there.  There were so many obstacles in my way.  There were financial obstacles.  There was convincing my husband.  There was giving up a work-life that I felt comfortable with.  There was removing the nagging doubts.  You don't have the money.  If only you had saved more before you had children.  What if your kids don't get a good education, then you'll be the one to blame!  What if you choose the wrong curriculum?  What if you hate it?  What if your kids hate it?  Everyone will think you are weird.  What if you miss what you are doing?  Who will do your work?  What about your friends and co-workers?  What about your work mission?  What about retirement?  Health insurance?

And, of course, there were the opinions of other people.  What if your kids miss out on friendships?  What about socialization?  Your kids will be weird.  Your kids won't get a good education.  They'll be dumb.  It's not good for kids to be with their mom all the time.  Retirement?  Health insurance?

Sigh.

But, as time wore on and the call of my heart continued, I found that the call was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

The point came when I was miserable!

So many things in my life pointed me to this new adventure.  The Lord used other people to press me out of my work and into my destiny.  He used my own heart to keep prompting me to move forward.  He used other people to encourage me to be brave and take the next step.  It's amazing when I look back at those years, I see myself gradually becoming more and more miserable by not doing what God had called me to do.

In fact, my misery became so overwhelming that I would often feel anxiety take hold of me.  I would literally feel like I could breakdown at any moment.  I started to dislike being around people because I felt like I had to wear the mask that all was well.  After all, I felt like no one understood.  I also began to think maybe ending my life would be better than the misery I was living in.  I mentioned this to my husband when I realized I was becoming depressed.  His answer was not what I wanted to hear.  He told me he refused to listen to me talk like that when I was so blessed.  He was so right, but it was not what I wanted to hear.  I wanted my misery to have some company.  Now, I can laugh and be grateful that he refused to listen to my moaning.  But, at that moment, I felt very alone.  I was at the end of my rope.

I think that old adversary, the devil, realized that I was getting closer to taking the step God had for me and he plagued me one night with the possibility of ending my life.  All of my family had gone and I was alone.  In one moment, the thought came so quickly to my mind that I should pick up the gun by my bed and end it all.  The thought was so real, so electrifying that I immediately called out to Jesus.  I felt an overwhelming urge to hide the gun, but I was absolutely afraid to even touch it.  I was afraid of how convincing that voice was.  So, I turned my back to it and cried, praying, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus."  Peace washed over me and I slept. 

I believe without a doubt that the devil is afraid of what we will do when we are loosed from the bondage of the world---when we turn to follow the Lord's call on our life. I have no doubt that he tries to take us down.  In fact, the Bible says, "Be of sober spirit, be on the alert.  Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8)." 

My misery was heavy on my soul.  I was slogging through life, trying to juggle it all and hold it all together in this area of my life.  Over and over people would ask me how I was.  Over and over they would speak kind words to me about my work, but it was not enough.  I had a mission and I had to choose--misery or mission.

I felt so pressed to jump into my mission that I can scarcely explain it--other than to know the Spirit in me strengthened me and quickened bravery in my heart.  I could see myself taking the step and I knew it was the answer.  The Lord was calling me and I so desired to follow Him, because I love Him.

It was time.

I can't see the full reason for my mission.  I do believe it is partly related to my children, other children, and to other people.  I know it's about the Lord and writing this to YOU, one person.  When I see Jesus face to face, I know I'll see the mission revealed.  And for me that is enough.  It is enough to know that today I am where He has put me.  Today, I am following His command to reveal my life--so personally--to you.  Words are what I have.  It is what He has given me and it is what I give back to Him--for you.  He loves you so much.



Do not work for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of man shall give to you, for on Him the Father, even God has set His seal.  (John 6:27)

When Your No Is Their Yes

No is hard.  I should know.  I've heard lots of no's.  I've experienced rejection and rejection and rejection.

The best thing is that I am getting better at it.  I'm not getting better just because it keeps happening, but I am getting better because I have prayed for God to help me be better.  I have asked the Lord to kill pride in me.  I've asked God to get rid of any seed of malcontent when I think I lose.  I don't want to see my life like that.  I want to be better, purer, and sanctified from malice. I want to always remember the Lord plans all things for my good every time I hear no.  (Romans 8:28)

When you win, I want to genuinely celebrate with you, not harbor jealousy.

When I get told no, I do not want to feel sad or fall into a day of depression.  In fact, I don't even want a moment of depression.

One thing the Lord revealed to me this week is that my no is yes to someone else.  Just like that.  It's that simple.

When you apply for a job and twenty other people apply for it and you get the no, someone else got a yes.  And that person may really have needed the job.  God can see all things and He knows why you were told no.  You may not understand it, but God does.

This week that happened to me.  I received a no for what I thought would be a dream job.  In the first three seconds, tears popped into my eyes and then God told me something.

He brought to my mind a Facebook post I had seen earlier in the week.

It was from a woman whose husband had quit his job.  Their bank account was already overdrawn by $200, the bills were a month behind, and they were caving fast.  Her post was a plea for prayer.

The Lord told me to think of her and think that perhaps she or someone like her got the yes e-mail.

And, that put me where I needed to be.  Praise God!  If she got that yes e-mail, thank you, Jesus!

Who am I to not celebrate with her?  So, I stopped and I prayed for the person who did get that yes e-mail.  I prayed for their situation and their success and I meant it.

I even emailed the company back and told them that I prayed for that because the Lord had a plan.  The Lord has a plan.  Your no maybe a no for today.  But, never forget that it may be the yes that someone deep in the pits of despair has yearned for, fasted for, prayed for!  It may be the rope that pulls them to the Lord and by this, they may be saved.  (Romans 10:1)

Amen to all the times my no became your yes!

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

Celebrate Me Home

This past week was a banner week!  I mean, I don't even know where to start and I have been thinking about it--even putting off the writing until I could get clear direction.  Alas, even with my fingers moving across the keyboard, I am unsure of how or what to write.  But, for you, ONE person, I am going to type and let the Lord tell His story.

It all began over a week ago.  I heard the Lord say to me, "This by fasting and praying."  Over and over I heard these words in my spirit.

Essentially, I have two things:

One, I have an unanswered prayer.  This is a deep cry of my heart that is years in the making.

Two, I am quickly approaching the date where one of my jobs will have hours cut and I know that I will need to make up the dollars that part of the job represents in my everyday life.  I feel peaceful about this and know that my trust in the Lord is solidified because He did not bring me here to leave me desolate.

So, as I heard His words, I agreed to fasting and praying.

I feel it is very important for YOU that I write this with its timeline because that is the key to this testimony.  In order to do this, I had to go back to text messages and my journal.

Over a week ago, on Wednesday, I wrote in my journal that I had agreed to prayer and fasting.

9/25/2019

Prayer and Fasting

I devote myself to prayer and fasting for three days.  I am afraid to write those words because I know how hard it is.  Do I do it over a weekend?  What if I fail?  But I know I'm called to do it.  Help me, Lord, I am weak.  

On Thursday, I received a text message from a friend of mine who asked me to consider some work they needed doing.  They said, "Let's pray for a clear plan."

Amen. I had only one concern here.  Many job opportunities have come my way, but they all require a 9-5 presence in an office, but I know that I am called at this time in my life to be with my children and work remotely.  Period.  I know this!  The Lord has made it clear to me and I wasn't sure that my friend understood this.

By Saturday, I had decided to put my fast off until Monday.  (Yes, I am VERY human and I know weekends are for eating!)  But, watch, how the Lord works even with my flesh!

Now, Sunday will seem like an aside to you, but it is intricately woven into this story and even I am unsure how--other than it is covered in obedience and I know that faith and obedience are required to follow the path the Lord has for us.

So, on Sunday a friend of mine stood in church to sing.  Before she sang, she spoke words that pierced my heart and the Lord broke my heart for her.  I knew she was tired and ready to walk out of this world.  Her song, Celebrate Me Home was the plea of her heart.  The words sang by her beautiful voice still ring in my ears as I type this for YOU:

Celebrate me home!
Celebrate me there
Celebrate me in that land of wonder where nothing can compare
Celebrate me in that place
Celebrate me saved by grace
Don't just sit and weep because I'm gone
Celebrate me Home

While she was singing the Lord showed me a vision.  It was a funeral that I did not want to attend.  I will cloak some of the details for my own self but know that I knew what the Lord was telling me.  In my vision, playing like a movie in my mind, my husband sat beside me in the car as we pulled up to the church.  I told him I couldn't do it and he told me I had to.  I cry right now seeing the vision play out in my mind.  My husband got out of the car and came to my side and looked me in the eye and told me again that I had to do this.  Just like he always does when I think I can't do something, he looks me straight in the eye and pushes me.  So, I walked with him, but I never made it to that grave.  I collapsed in grief, kissing the dirt in my great sadness.  The Lord snapped the vision closed and told me He had something for me to do.

The Lord told me to get up and have the church pray for my friend--right then.  Not later.  Not at home.  Not via text.  Not in private.  Not at the end of service.  Right then.  Get up and interrupt the service and call for prayer.  Now.

I felt such power in my body that when my friend's song ended, I pushed myself up.  I don't know how I made it across the church.  It was as if I was walking with a power that was not my own.  I could only see the back of the preacher, who I knew could call his sheep to prayer.  I touched him and told him we needed to pray right then.  Without hesitation, prayer was called for and as I held my friend, I felt power coursing through my body that caused me to shake.  I have no idea what this prayer meant to the Lord at that moment, but I know that it was the Spirit who led it.  Because, friend, I am an introverted rule-follower.  I have no desire to be seen or stand up and interrupt church, but I did.  I have no desire to be part of a spectacle, but I was.  The Bible tells us to not fear man and the only thing that could have kept me in my seat was the fear of man and I praise God that I made the decision to obey God.  I also pray for my friend and ask you to do the same, ONE person.

Thank you, Jesus!

On Monday, I announced to my children that I would be fasting.  It's nothing fancy.  It's nothing easy either, but it is Biblical.  Through those three days, I was amazed at my strength.  I knew the Lord was doing the hard work for me.  I kept telling the kids I rarely felt hungry.  (Okay, the popping of popcorn on Day 3 might have been a little HARD. :)  My kids keep me humble.)

On the final day of my fast, two things happened.

Earlier, I had applied for what I thought could be a dream job for me.  That morning, I received the email that I was denied.  You'll have to read my blog, When Your No is Their Yes for the details.

It ended in a moment of rejoicing with the Lord.

Then, that evening, after my final meal was fasted my friend texted to say we needed to talk about the job opportunity and we did.  The best thing about the conversation was that my friend--this future employer--understood my call to work remotely and be with my children.  Amen, God does not send us down a path to leave us or forsake us.  (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5)

And in that moment, the BEST thing was that I got to sit in my living room with my children and my husband and testify to God's goodness.

I also was able to testify to other friends throughout the week when I felt moved by the Spirit to share this story until I could write it down here for you, ONE person.

Oh, and on my #One unanswered prayer, a sweet Sister in Christ told me on Thursday I should pursue this as my career.  Of course, she had no idea that this was my #One.  I laughed as I told her that I had, but God had shut the door and shut the door and shut the door.  She smiled and I knew the Lord spoke to me through her as she said, "It's just not time yet."



I think TobyMac says it best, "Keep walkin' soldier keep movin' on."  (Song: Move)

For the Love of Money

It's just money.  We all have it sitting around.  Right?

I know your heart lurched and you shook your head, No.  No way, we don't have extra money.  Not over here.  Look away.

The truth is we do.  We do.  The money to buy a new pair of shoes when we have ten.  The money to pay someone to cook our next meal.  The money to buy more television to be piped into our house.  The money to pay large phone bills--much larger than those we used to have.  The money to go on vacation.  The money to buy a three dollar drink.  The money to buy cars, houses, boats, equipment, toys.

At this age, I look back over my life and think of all the times I had this feeling that I HAD to buy something or my life would not be complete.  No, seriously, I had that feeling.  I had it especially with my kids.  Oh my goodness, they want this latest, greatest gadget--I must get it for them.  They want this latest style shirt--they must have it to look like everyone else.  Crazy stuff that later was either tossed aside, broken, or forgotten.

Money.

I admit I've always had a love affair with it.  I like it.  I like when I feel like I have extra.  It feels secure.  I hate it when I don't have extra and am skating by making plans to keep the bank account out of overdraft.

I took the kids out to eat last week.  Of course, they picked the most expensive restaurant we could go to and, of course, I took them.  Later, I looked at the charge in my bank account and shook my head at the extravagance.  Have you ever done that?  I think they call it buyer's remorse.  It's a real thing.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am happy to support people in their endeavors to earn a living.  That's how this barter system works, but sometimes I am faced with the reality that my blessings are meant to do more than provide extravagance for my family.  But are they?

I don't need to be trendy.  I don't need the latest jewelry style.  I don't need shoes just like yours because they look so cute on you.  I don't need to make sure my kids look like your kids.  I don't need to impress you with my money.  Those things are all distractions and they never fill the hole inside of us.  Why?  Because nowhere in the Bible does it instruct us to do any of these things.

Even in 1 ThElisa* it does not say, "Thou shalt buy a box of junk for $50 so each season you can have trendy stuff like sweet Sadie Robertson or Tori Spelling."

Nope.  Not there.  Do you know what it says?  Over and over.  Take care of the orphans and widows.  Love your neighbor.  Care for the poor.  Am I doing this?

Just recently I had the opportunity to give.  I wanted to do it.  However, I admit that my mind went to the long list of things I could do with the money.  I literally checked off all the ways I could spend the money I knew God was asking me to give.  I kept having to remind myself over and over that it was given money.  I finally wrote the check and stuck it in an envelope while I waited for the mailing address, so I would know that I did not turn back.  I wanted to give it and I was going to do it!  I was going to overcome the whispers of Satan to keep it.

I've wasted money and I am sure I will waste it again in my life, but my prayer is that I will be so close to the Lord that I will hear Him and ask Him before I spend my money.  After all, it's His money anyway.

I see us make social media posts selling things like we need money.  I know the jobs we have, the cars we drive, the houses we live in and in my mind I feel a niggle that tells me it isn't right.  You know we all have money.  You know we are wasting money.  You know we should be giving instead of taking. I encourage you to give it away. 

Are you gripped by fear of giving it away?  Don't be.  Over and over the Bible tells us that God takes care of us.

I have literally walked in my closet and said, "God, I really need some new clothes.  I don't have the money, but you know my need."  And I promise someone would come to me and say, "I was going through my closet and thought of you.  Would you take these clothes?"

I have done the same thing with shoes and I haven't done it just one time--I've done it multiple times.  Each time I would pray for this, the Lord would send someone to provide for my need.  Again and again.  The Lord provides.  The Lord Provides.

After all, it is one of His many names....Jehovah Jireh!


*P.S.  You can go digging through your Bible, but there is no 1 ThElisa.  But, if there was it would say things like, 1 ThElisa 1:9, "Thou shall not park in both lanes of a circle drive.  Thou shall not wear leggings with a shirt that doesn't cover your backside.  Thou shall read from a book every day.  Thou shall think a lot about everything!"