This past week was a banner week! I mean, I don't even know where to start and I have been thinking about it--even putting off the writing until I could get clear direction. Alas, even with my fingers moving across the keyboard, I am unsure of how or what to write. But, for you, ONE person, I am going to type and let the Lord tell His story.
It all began over a week ago. I heard the Lord say to me, "This by fasting and praying." Over and over I heard these words in my spirit.
Essentially, I have two things:
One, I have an unanswered prayer. This is a deep cry of my heart that is years in the making.
Two, I am quickly approaching the date where one of my jobs will have hours cut and I know that I will need to make up the dollars that part of the job represents in my everyday life. I feel peaceful about this and know that my trust in the Lord is solidified because He did not bring me here to leave me desolate.
So, as I heard His words, I agreed to fasting and praying.
I feel it is very important for YOU that I write this with its timeline because that is the key to this testimony. In order to do this, I had to go back to text messages and my journal.
Over a week ago, on Wednesday, I wrote in my journal that I had agreed to prayer and fasting.
9/25/2019
Prayer and Fasting
I devote myself to prayer and fasting for three days. I am afraid to write those words because I know how hard it is. Do I do it over a weekend? What if I fail? But I know I'm called to do it. Help me, Lord, I am weak.
On Thursday, I received a text message from a friend of mine who asked me to consider some work they needed doing. They said, "Let's pray for a clear plan."
Amen. I had only one concern here. Many job opportunities have come my way, but they all require a 9-5 presence in an office, but I know that I am called at this time in my life to be with my children and work remotely. Period. I know this! The Lord has made it clear to me and I wasn't sure that my friend understood this.
By Saturday, I had decided to put my fast off until Monday. (Yes, I am VERY human and I know weekends are for eating!) But, watch, how the Lord works even with my flesh!
Now, Sunday will seem like an aside to you, but it is intricately woven into this story and even I am unsure how--other than it is covered in obedience and I know that faith and obedience are required to follow the path the Lord has for us.
So, on Sunday a friend of mine stood in church to sing. Before she sang, she spoke words that pierced my heart and the Lord broke my heart for her. I knew she was tired and ready to walk out of this world. Her song, Celebrate Me Home was the plea of her heart. The words sang by her beautiful voice still ring in my ears as I type this for YOU:
Celebrate me home!
Celebrate me there
Celebrate me in that land of wonder where nothing can compare
Celebrate me in that place
Celebrate me saved by grace
Don't just sit and weep because I'm gone
Celebrate me Home
While she was singing the Lord showed me a vision. It was a funeral that I did not want to attend. I will cloak some of the details for my own self but know that I knew what the Lord was telling me. In my vision, playing like a movie in my mind, my husband sat beside me in the car as we pulled up to the church. I told him I couldn't do it and he told me I had to. I cry right now seeing the vision play out in my mind. My husband got out of the car and came to my side and looked me in the eye and told me again that I had to do this. Just like he always does when I think I can't do something, he looks me straight in the eye and pushes me. So, I walked with him, but I never made it to that grave. I collapsed in grief, kissing the dirt in my great sadness. The Lord snapped the vision closed and told me He had something for me to do.
The Lord told me to get up and have the church pray for my friend--right then. Not later. Not at home. Not via text. Not in private. Not at the end of service. Right then. Get up and interrupt the service and call for prayer. Now.
I felt such power in my body that when my friend's song ended, I pushed myself up. I don't know how I made it across the church. It was as if I was walking with a power that was not my own. I could only see the back of the preacher, who I knew could call his sheep to prayer. I touched him and told him we needed to pray right then. Without hesitation, prayer was called for and as I held my friend, I felt power coursing through my body that caused me to shake. I have no idea what this prayer meant to the Lord at that moment, but I know that it was the Spirit who led it. Because, friend, I am an introverted rule-follower. I have no desire to be seen or stand up and interrupt church, but I did. I have no desire to be part of a spectacle, but I was. The Bible tells us to not fear man and the only thing that could have kept me in my seat was the fear of man and I praise God that I made the decision to obey God. I also pray for my friend and ask you to do the same, ONE person.
Thank you, Jesus!
On Monday, I announced to my children that I would be fasting. It's nothing fancy. It's nothing easy either, but it is Biblical. Through those three days, I was amazed at my strength. I knew the Lord was doing the hard work for me. I kept telling the kids I rarely felt hungry. (Okay, the popping of popcorn on Day 3 might have been a little HARD. :) My kids keep me humble.)
On the final day of my fast, two things happened.
Earlier, I had applied for what I thought could be a dream job for me. That morning, I received the email that I was denied. You'll have to read my blog, When Your No is Their Yes for the details.
It ended in a moment of rejoicing with the Lord.
Then, that evening, after my final meal was fasted my friend texted to say we needed to talk about the job opportunity and we did. The best thing about the conversation was that my friend--this future employer--understood my call to work remotely and be with my children. Amen, God does not send us down a path to leave us or forsake us. (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5)
And in that moment, the BEST thing was that I got to sit in my living room with my children and my husband and testify to God's goodness.
I also was able to testify to other friends throughout the week when I felt moved by the Spirit to share this story until I could write it down here for you, ONE person.
Oh, and on my #One unanswered prayer, a sweet Sister in Christ told me on Thursday I should pursue this as my career. Of course, she had no idea that this was my #One. I laughed as I told her that I had, but God had shut the door and shut the door and shut the door. She smiled and I knew the Lord spoke to me through her as she said, "It's just not time yet."
I think TobyMac says it best, "Keep walkin' soldier keep movin' on." (Song: Move)
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